I’ve been doing a lot of research and trying a new approach with my children. The results I’ve seen in my children have led me to write on this popular topic that so many have already touched on. In a world where we have traditionally praised our kids by labeling them “smart” or “intelligent”, we are now seeing the shift toward parents praising kids for their “effort” and “determination” instead of just using labels or evaluative comments that has its roots in the idea of “fixed smarts”.
Questioning the Idea of Fixed Smarts
We used to think that a kid’s abilities were set in stone, but that’s not the case. When we call a child “smart,” it can make them feel like they have to stay that way forever. This might make them scared to make mistakes or take on tough challenges because they worry it’ll prove they’re not as smart as people think. It could also lead them to cheat if they started making mistakes, or if they were worried they might not do as well with tough challenges.
Embracing Trying Hard and Not Giving Up
Instead of believing that you’re either smart or not, we’re learning that anyone can get better at things if they work hard enough. When we praise kids for their effort and persistence, it encourages them to believe in themselves. It helps them see that it’s okay to struggle because that’s how they learn and grow. In praising their effort and persistence, studies show those kids stay more consistent on how well they perform. They tend to be less nervous about mistakes because they know a mistake is an opportunity to grow and learn. They are less stressed and perform better overall.
Creating a Supportive Environment for Growth
To help kids develop this positive mindset, it’s important to use encouraging words and feedback. Rather than just saying they’re smart, we should focus on recognizing and celebrating their effort and determination. Here are some ways we can do that:
- Making Mistakes Is Okay: Teach kids that making mistakes is a natural part of learning. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about trying your best and learning from what doesn’t work.
- Taking Small Steps: Instead of expecting kids to be perfect right away, celebrate the progress they make, no matter how small. Every step forward is something to be proud of.
- Giving Specific Praise: When giving feedback, be specific about what they did well and how their effort paid off. This helps them understand the connection between hard work and success.
- Being a Role Model: Show kids that you believe in the power of effort and persistence by demonstrating these qualities yourself. Let them see that it’s okay to struggle sometimes as long as you keep trying.
Conclusion
In a world where people often judge others based on how naturally smart they seem, it’s important to shift our focus to celebrating effort and determination in kids. By nurturing this growth mindset, we empower them to tackle challenges head-on, learn from their mistakes, and reach their full potential. Let’s cheer for the journey of learning and development, knowing that true intelligence isn’t something you’re born with. True intelligence is something you can build through hard work, determination, and never giving up.
If you’d like to review some of the research, please see the following links:
Praise for intelligence can undermine children’s motivation and performance – PubMed (nih.gov)
